Question:
We recently had a celebrity guest who said he was referred to us by a friend who is one of our regulars. He Instagrammed the visit and it definitely helped us. I think I know who the guest who referred him is and I’d like to thank him, but I'm not 100% sure. Is it too much of an imposition/privacy violation to ask?
– Chef-owner, Philadelphia
Answer:
A few weeks ago, I wrote about using information in guest notes or other online information to customize service. We discussed the line between personalized and overly familiar or creepy. Your question this week is the opposite: You have no information about a guest, but want it, and you want to know if that’s overly familiar or creepy.
People go to restaurants for a variety of reasons. In this day of credit cards, social media and online visibility, if someone wants to dine incognito, I think you should honor that. On the one hand, if they want to build a relationship, they could easily tag you from the table or introduce themselves; on the other hand, they may just not be outgoing or social media types. I would say give it one shot. Say, “I’m the chef-owner. I see you come in a lot, so I just wanted to thank you and offer you a complimentary _____.” If he says, “Thanks,” conversation over, and you’ve kept him as a loyal guest. If he says, “Thanks! I love this place so much I told all my friends about it, including my celebrity friends,” then you have a license to probe, in my opinion.
More on maintaining guest privacy here.